From A to Bee Read online

  I unscrewed the metal joints holding the floor and brood box together and then smoked the entrance. Slowly I lifted the complete hive off the stand and placed it on the floor beside me. A few of the bees were flying around but it was OK so far and they didn't seem too rattled.

  I placed the open-mesh floor on the hive stand and started to tease apart the hive and closed floor beside me. This was all in readiness to lift the hive back onto the stand. This was the bit I was afraid of because essentially I was taking the floor away from their home. Imagine the human equivalent of this and seeing the floor of your house disappear while some grubby gloved fingers gripped the walls to lift the whole thing up in the air. It would be a little unnerving but here I was doing it to probably 20,000 bees.

  I had only lifted the hive a couple of inches off the old floor when it happened. My first sting followed quickly by my second, third and fourth.

  Initially I thought I had been stung by the nettles around the hive. There were short stabs of pain around my ankle. As I continued to manoeuvre the hive it dawned on me what was happening. I put the hive down on the floor a lot more carefully than I thought I would have done considering this new development. However, the thought of dropping a complete hive and annoying the whole colony was simply not an option.

  I bent down and tried to flick the bees off from around my sock area but realised very quickly that using a hive tool in a swinging action close to the major arteries of my foot wasn't the best plan. Therefore I resorted to the fingers and quickly dispersed the stinging insects. Reviewing the situation now I had been pretty stupid. Not only had I put the entrance of the hive right by my ankles but in order to prevent bees from crawling up my trouser leg I had done the other fashionable thing of tucking my trousers into my socks. Not only did I look really cool but I left an open invitation for them to attack my ankles. Silly, isn't it – by trying to stop bees crawling up my leg I had left my ankle exposed. Maybe next year I need to either buy a full suit or purchase some welly boots.

  All in all it was over very quickly and I have to say I was quite glad that I have now been stung, especially as I wasn't expecting it. I figured my hand or fingers would get stung first. At least I know what the feeling is like and I can be doubly pleased that I didn't get stung in the eye. The stings hurt far less than I had expected and there doesn't seem to be any swelling so that must be a good thing.

  Anyway, all done and the hive was now on its correct floor but despite being stung I now needed to carry out the inspection on the Beehaus.

  Fresh from the confidence I had gained in spotting the marked queen yesterday in the nucleus, I found the unmarked queen today! Even though I had seen them in the practice sessions I am still amazed at how big they are.

  Having done a few inspections now, I have to say with every opening of the hive my nervousness abates ever so slightly and I am feeling a little bit more comfortable around the bees. Being stung earlier has helped as well; as arguably nothing can be much worse than being stung four times, aside from being stung five times I suppose.

  As I was working through the hive I started to realise that I was viewing each frame differently from past inspections. It was almost as if I had a checklist going on in my head. On each frame I started by checking if there were any larvae, which gave me the confidence that I had a queen. I then moved on to whether I could see stores and any signs of disease. Finally I would just check the bees to see if I could see the queen as I scanned the frame left to right and top to bottom. After the third frame I realised I was doing this instinctively and again it made me think how enjoyable the experience actually is. It was, however, the time that I also realised how hot it was inside the bee suit. I may as well have simply wrapped myself up in a dustbin bag and stood in the sun. I was baking and I could feel sweat droplets dripping onto my nose.

  Anyway, the queen was found, the hive floors changed and I left a very happy novice beekeeper. This was especially the case as I put on the honey super as well. I felt that the brood box was sufficiently full to chance my luck. Hopefully this will incentivise them to move upwards, build some frames and pop in some lovely golden honey. Perhaps this will go some way to obtaining the jar of honey I so crave this year.

  JUNE 28

  I am feeling quite old today. Imagine the scene. I had to get the bus into work as my car was getting its tyres changed (after my blowout incident). Once the bus got going I realised that I was on the side that the sun was streaming through. I moved sides and it was at that point I felt old. I actually moved in the interests of a comfortable journey.

  Matters got worse. As the journey continued, the schoolchildren joined me on their way to school – with spots coming out of every inch of skin, hair down to their ankles and ties with the loosest definition of a Windsor or half nelson knot I had ever seen. There I was minding my own business, dressed for work in a smart shirt and well-tied knot and felt I should catch up on some reading. Out popped a copy of Beecraft – Britain's best-selling bee magazine. I started reading it and realised that some of the kids had brushed aside their ankle length hair just a little bit so that one beady eye was looking at my reading material. These brief looks turned into stares which were followed by elbowing and a bit of pointing. The receiver of the elbow would then turn, wipe their fringe in a certain direction and then also stare in a way only teenagers can.

  I was innocently reading a magazine with a nice photo of a bumblebee on the front and being stared at by a bunch of teenagers. OK, so it wasn't the latest edition of Heat or GQ but I thought I was pretty cool. Then it dawned on me. Me and my mates used to be those spotty, long-haired teens but the recipients of our stares were people reading trainspotting magazines. I couldn't help but laugh back then at these anorak-wearing, bespectacled human beings and here I was, the modern-day equivalent. I felt mortified but, as I am sure the trainspotters did, I buried my head in my magazine.

  Once I had returned from work, I went up to the Beehaus to check on the hive to see if it was bee-tight and thankfully it all seemed in good shape. I also went up to give them some more feed but upon opening the hive I discovered they had hardly even taken any – in fact I would go so far as to say they hadn't yet found it despite my efforts of introducing it to them. As a result they weren't drawing out the frames particularly quickly so I dripped a little bit more down the tube to incentivise them. Hopefully they will get started pretty soon.

  It has been 29 degrees Celsius today again, which hasn't made it a particularly comfortable time, especially with my stings having been covered with sweaty socks all day. My ankle became very itchy today for the first time and was a little bit inflamed and swollen.

  On a separate note, I had my first spuds this weekend. I dug up some of the swift earlies which I had planted several months ago. A little bit of mint while cooking followed by 'accidentally' too much butter, salt and pepper and all was delicious. I will also say that, despite the odd few, today was the first harvest of the mangetout and broad beans. I made a lovely salad complete with pepper, potato, rice and coriander, and all was lovely. So satisfying after all the hard work I put in throughout spring. Wonderful.

  JULY 2

  I haven't written much this week because, quite simply, my hands have been too busy scratching away at my left ankle. The stings have developed through a variety of stages throughout the week which has been most interesting. On Sunday, nothing really happened, which was disappointing. I was expecting or rather secretly hoping to see some swelling immediately after the stings and maybe something like the elephant man's leg but I got nothing – no evidence of the stings, not even a red mark. I had walked back to Jo hoping for sympathy and had nothing to show for it.

  Monday arrived and I remember jumping out of bed and looking down at the ankle – still no elephant man-type symptoms or even any redness. However, as the day wore on, I found myself scratching the area of the stings and it just got progressively worse.

  I woke up on the Tuesday after a very unsettled night.
I think that I must have been trying to scratch the inflamed ankle with my other foot as I do remember kicking Jo several times during the night. I was in serious trouble with her in the morning for precisely that reason. I thought I had a decent excuse though, especially as my ankle was now nicely red and there was finally evidence of the stings. Sadly my defence was pretty much dismissed. Kicking your wife while asleep because of a few bee stings is obviously not recommended.

  Ever since the pleasure of actually proving to people on Tuesday morning that I'd been stung I have been feeling pretty fed up with the matter to be honest. They have been incredibly itchy and though the swelling went down yesterday, Thursday, they are still quite uncomfortable. I have a feeling that by Sunday they will have calmed down completely just in time for another inspection. I wonder if it is all contrived by the bees. They deliberately pump in enough venom to keep the sting uncomfortable for a week, just so that others will sting you on the next inspection, keeping the level of comfort at such a point that you eventually decide bothering them is a bad idea!

  JULY 3

  Today was a strange day. I woke up feeling quite excited following on from last week's successful inspections. Spotting the two queens gave me a real confidence boost and then there was my growing feeling of calm as I inspected the hives, something I hadn't felt before. Today, however, was slightly different. I got just over halfway through the inspection on the traditional hive and then felt that I couldn't complete it.

  It was funny as I had the game plan mapped out in my head today. I wasn't going to open the Beehaus, having decided to leave it another week to allow the queen to get herself up and running. I think this is normally accepted protocol when you have just introduced a nucleus to a new hive. Therefore I had only the one hive to inspect, the traditional hive which held the ever-growing if slightly feisty colony. It should have been quite straightforward.

  I think the trouble started about an hour earlier. I was doing some work up at the allotment near the hive and had spent about five minutes observing the hive from a distance. It was incredible and the only way I can describe it is like a really busy road at rush hour – a constant stream of traffic going both ways, invariably faster than the speed limit but, for the most part, staying in the right lane and all working in harmony. It was incredible; I was mesmerised. I could clearly see the constant stream of bees going in and out. It was slightly silhouetted with the Gatwick Airport planes coming in to land in the distance and yet the two flight paths couldn't be more different. My thoughts went to the impending inspection and I was suddenly a little bit psyched out. My God they look busy, there must be a lot going on in there.

  Come the hive inspection, it started well; I got my smoker lit first time, bee suit on, gloves on, head engaged and hive tool ready. It was the first inspection I was doing with a super on top of the hive; something I hadn't encountered before. Anyway, I got on with it and it seemed to work well as the smoke at the hive entrance did its job.

  I lifted off the super and was immediately aware of the increase in bees that I saw under the queen excluder (this separates the brood box from the super and keeps the queen in the brood box so that she doesn't lay eggs where honey is stored) and already in the super going about their business. They were busy drawing out frames in the super which was a good sign. It was evident that there were a good load of bees all over the frames in the brood box. This immediately pleased me as I knew it meant a lot of the brood must have hatched last week. Off came the queen excluder and I got stuck in. My mind was racing with excitement and any previous concerns went out of the window.

  After the second frame I started to see freshly laid eggs, which I was pleased about, but then my right glove got stuck on the propolis and the thumb of my glove ripped clean off, which tells you just how sticky this stuff is! Immediately I got a little bit concerned. It is amazing what a tenth of a millimetre of latex glove does for your confidence. I was then immediately aware of just how hot it was outside – the outside temperature must have been at least 28 degrees Celsius – and that again I had sweat dripping down over my nose, not a pleasant feeling knowing that I couldn't really wipe it away.

  I carried on regardless but was acutely aware of the bees being a little feisty. These girls have always been a little bit feisty but this time there were more of them! They were dive-bombing my veil like kamikaze pilots and I could deal with the ones at the front but when they were going for the back of the head that was a different story.

  I got to the seventh frame but was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. I was hot and bothered and the bees were all over me, especially on my gloves. Every time I removed a new frame more bees piled out and it was as if they were making a decision every time: do we stay here or would it be more fun to join the kamikazes or go for that exposed finger? As a result of my increasing nervousness and generally not feeling happy about the whole situation, I took the decision to finish the inspection early. I had seen the eggs and so I wasn't too concerned but I just wasn't happy with the situation and there seemed so many more bees than normal.

  As I closed up, I quickly took a look at the super and made sure the individual frames were doing all right. I had split my super into half 'cut comb' (so I could make cut comb honey) and half normal frames. The cut comb frames basically have no wire going through the wax and the result of this and my bad workmanship of fitting these particular strips was that the wax had worked its way loose and was hanging loose in the frame. They would be useless and would have to be replaced at some point. Damn; a bad ending to a bad inspection.

  Sitting down now, glass of white wine in hand, reflecting, I am both pleased that I took the decision to stop the inspection but also slightly disappointed that I couldn't continue.

  JULY 5

  I am sitting outside having just tied in some tomato plants and am having a glass of wine: bliss. It has given me some time to reminisce about Saturday. Despite feeling a little bit of a wimp, upon reflection I think I did the right thing. If you don't feel right you should pull away from the inspection.

  This morning I went up to the allotment on a daring mission to cut the grass around the hives. It might not sound much but imagine as a child approaching the house of the neighbourhood weirdo who you had been told ate children. You had been dared to knock on his door and then run away at the speed of sound. You probably knew deep down that he didn't eat children and so, with your heart pumping you would have done it but would have felt so unbelievably nervous all the same. That was the feeling I had this morning.

  So I got up nice and early, hoping to miss the rush hour around the hive. The M25-type traffic I witnessed the other day would hopefully be several hours off yet and so I might be able to sneak in and get the job done. It was absolutely beautiful this morning and the field in front of the allotment looked majestic as it often does in the early mornings.

  I went to the Man Shed, pulled out the hand pruners (not really sure what this contraption should be called but basically shears on long handles) and crept up to the hive. I was going rather quietly, careful not to draw attention to myself, and I have to say it did raise a question in my head. Can bees hear? If not then I was wasting my time being silent. I have a feeling that it is only really movement and vibration that they are aware of but I could not be too sure this morning.

  I got started and to be honest it was a rather quick job and I was in and out of the area within five minutes. I had given the grass around the hive a good haircut and all was looking rather smart. I was quite pleased with myself and then decided that I would start on the loose branches around the hive as well – shows what a little bit of confidence does for you doesn't it? Anyway, this job was also done pretty quickly and all was good.

  Afterwards I sidestepped over to the Beehaus to have a look at what the bees were up to. I lifted off the lid really delicately – I have to say the more times I use it the easier it becomes, quite practical really – and looked in. I was really pleased to see about fifteen bees in
the feeder which was fifteen times as many bees as I had seen previously. It was evident that the feed had also been devoured so my intervention last time had obviously worked. With the crown board on it meant that I couldn't see into the actual hive but looking into the feeder gave me a good indication that things were going well.

  Having left the Beehaus bees alone for a couple of weeks I am looking forward to doing a full inspection on Saturday rather than just looking longingly at the entrance, to see how they are getting on in this most controversial hive. I am quite enjoying looking at the two of them side by side. Even Farmer Ray pointed out that I had 'one of them modern hives' the other day – even the scary farmer is interested!

  I put a couple of litres of feed in the feeder and left them to it. I was a much happier beekeeper on this very beautiful morning.

  JULY 7

  A little bit of confidence was restored today as I went to my evening with the Reigate Beekeepers and got my hands dirty once more. It is really uplifting to be around other, more experienced beekeepers who all state it is quite common to abandon a hive visit. Some, by the sound of it, have had it a lot worse than me!